Life is dynamic.
We know this, but usually we forget. Anytime you’re not dealing well with change you’ve forgotten that life is dynamic. Always. Nothing remains the same so why are you uncomfortable with change? We now know that even our own body cells are constantly regenerating anew.
If you always remember that life is dynamic, that change is inevitable and evolution is a plus you can better handle it when certain relationships change or end, when what you thought you knew (with 100% certainty) gets turned on its head and you realise you now have to consider alternative possibilities. More importantly you can meet the challenge when a part of your identity dies, to make room for a new you. It’s not easy, but having this mindset from the beginning is a handy item to have in your toolkit. Many people I know are going through major transformations these days.
It’s only May but it feels like it should be November! 2013 is shaping up to be hectic in terms of new beginnings! For many, who (and where) they thought they were a year or two ago is not who they are now. Some relationships are coming to an end, for others they have left conventional 9-5 jobs to put time and energy into work that calls to their hearts.
A few years ago I realised that my masculine energy was overdeveloped. Competing was GREAT. Winning and rising within the ranks was even better. Before I knew it my feminine energy was slowly withering away. I certainly wasn’t practicing much feminine energy behaviour like being creative (photography and writing) or being comfortable receiving from others (I felt guilty and undeserving when people did nice things for me). And I had a problem being vulnerable. No sir – vulnerability was for fools.
Now I’m working on rekindling my feminine energy. I love being creative and I love being (not always doing and striving, like a hare in a race, but just being). Achievement looks different to me too. As I create projects and work for myself instead of chasing and unconsciously looking externally for accolades and recognition, I look within and ask “am I happy with how I did that?” or “did I give that my all?”. I keep my edge but I use it in ways that empower me.
Surprisingly, being vulnerable has made me stronger. I know whatever happens I can handle it, so I’m less afraid to put myself out there in love and in my work. Also, being a warrior woman 24/7 got tiring. It’s hard for others to contribute to the strong person in the room. Now I unleash the warrior woman only when I need to. There needs to be a balance within all of us (men and women) of the feminine and the masculine. Too much of either and you’ll struggle. A few years ago my identity looked nothing like this and it’s taken a while to fit into this new suit. I’m glad I’m trying though!
Old parts of us die when an awareness of limiting behaviour comes to the forefront of our minds. If we then choose to shed that old behaviour and learn a more empowering one – well, now we are really involved in the creative process. Creating ourselves anew. It is a baptism of fire. What are you going to do now that you’re not dating that guy or girl anymore? What are you going to do now that you’re being honest about wanting to completely change careers? What are you going to do now that that friendship has come to an end? What are you going to do now that you realise you’re not interested in partying hard every weekend and are open to meeting a nice girl or guy to spend some time with? What are you going to do now that for the first time you’re being clear about your boundaries with others? A part of you has died and this “death” can be very scary. Who are you now? You were 100% certain about who you are – now you’re not so sure anymore.
With death however comes rebirth. Allow for that time period where there is silence between the cacophony of change and reconfiguration into a new you. Don’t resist it, pretend it’s not happening or defiantly try to continue in your old ways. Evolution is awesome. Particularly the evolution of your consciousness. So go on. Flow. Be in flow. If it wants to happen, let it happen and don’t stand in the way. Watch as new people and experiences come to you and welcome them. There’s a whole new world waiting for you on the other side of any challenging phase of change and transformation.
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